Do you have some lingering relationships ... …tear you down….cause grief…..have baggage…..long histories…
……these relationships can and DO zap our energy, steal our joy, drum up false beliefs about ourselves, and sometimes even stand in the way of achieving our dreams.
Yes, addressing relationship stuff can feel overwhelming, but often remedies are simpler than you’d think if you know how to define the right fix. That’s why I’ve designed the Relationship Renovation Roadmap I can’t wait to show you how!
Go to DefeatTheDrama.com/roadmap to check it out!
I actually wrote about this life lesson learned from my car a few years back and as I’m revisiting it now had to laugh. My son is currently on his way to get HIS car fixed with a similar issue. He waited until the emergency situation placed on the side of the expressway calling AAA for service. I’d been telling him for weeks he needed to get it looked at. He didn’t listen and look…..neither did I….
Here’s my similar story with the life lessons it taught me…..
My car had had some issues. I had to keep refilling the coolant reservoir. I assumed that it was leaking, though I didn’t know for sure. I’m not a big car person. I don’t really enjoy dealing with anything to do with my car other than getting in and driving it where I need to go. Beyond that I don’t want to take any time on it. I try to avoid talking about it, getting work done on it, pumping gas into it, filling the tires or even shopping for a new one! As long as the car I have can fulfill its basic function for me I’m good to go.
Over time the coolant issue got worse and worse and I had to spend a bit more time and money dealing with my car. I had to buy coolant and add it. At first I needed to add it about once a month, then once every couple weeks, then once a week. Finally I was adding coolant two times per week. The gage I used was my air conditioning or heat (yes, this went on for months!). When the air conditioner or heater blew out warm air rather than cold or hot I knew that it was time to add more coolant.
It was working for me. I knew deep down that I was spending a lot on coolant but I just didn’t feel like taking the extra time necessary to figure out what was really wrong. I was just using the band aid method, coaxing the car along doing the bare minimum to keep it driving for me. It was fulfilling its basic function so I just kept going with it.
Then one morning I went out to my trusty vehicle to drive my two boys to school. The car failed me! It would not start. I checked the fluid. I had just filled it. I didn’t think that low fluid was a reasonable hypothesis since it had been bone dry many times with no starter issues, but it was worth a try. That tapped my knowledge base. I had a car that was no longer fulfilling its basic function. I was finally forced into real action. I called the mechanic who makes house calls.
The starting issue ended up being nothing more than a dead battery, an easy fix. The leak, however, was a disintegrating radiator. Once the mechanic removed it, he ran his hand down it to show me all of the little metal fins just falling away. He said that it had been on the verge of failing altogether. It would not have been drivable. Coolant would have gushed all over. There would have been nothing to fill. I was now thankful for the dead battery. It stopped my car from working and made me take the time to figure out what was really wrong. Out of sheer luck, I was at home rather than on the side of the road somewhere.
It got me thinking. How often do we do this in our lives? As long as something is still working, at least barely, we don’t put the time or energy necessary to address it at all. We live with mediocrity rather than shooting for greatness. We limp along rather than soaring. We put time and energy into a band aid but nothing more. And if we are lucky, a smaller issue will pop up to give us a wakeup call before catastrophe strikes. So, what in your life needs more attention? Where do you need a wake up call?
Are you just skating at work but feel like, hey, the job still pays the bills? When is the last time you put extra energy at work? When did you put not just your time but your passion into your work? When did you last feel gratitude towards your boss, your subordinates or peers?
Or, maybe it’s your own business. Are you feeling frustrated while you fail to do what you must to really succeed?
Is your relationship with your significant other just a partnership of convenience? Where have you set the bar? Do you figure If the house gets semi-clean and there are some clean clothes, you both must be doing something right? That’s good enough. When is the last time you had a date together? When did you last feel passion? When did you feel an air of gratitude? When is the last time you took a moment to appreciate the fact that your partner is in your life? When did you last say, “I appreciate you”, with words or a gesture? What energy is going to this important relationship to make it great? Wouldn’t a rocking relationship be a better bar to set? What would that feel like?
Does stress fill your life? Are you slapping the band aid of alcohol or sleeping pills to keep going the way you’re going? Who do you need to say no to with grace? How do you need to revamp your expectations of yourself? Are you shooting for that impossible goal of perfection? What resentments are you carrying? Where do you need to have a voice? Where are you making assumptions that just increase your anger?
Do you have a health issue that you just work around? I have to admit to that I have done this. Are you putting a band aid on an issue? What if it’s your tiny wake up call, the one that will come before catastrophe hits? How can you get your body in motion? What are you fueling your body with? When did you have your last check-up? What health screenings have you put off as unimportant?
Are you just tolerating your kids? Are they something to be dealt with, just another chore? When is the last time you celebrated them? Where can you pour more energy into their lives? What wisdom can you teach? How can you shower love on them? Where do you need to pull back the reigns and pay attention to their lives? Who are they hanging out with, what do they do?
What in your life is slowly getting worse and worse? What are you putting a band aid on rather than actually fixing? What would it feel like to put full energy on fixing something rather than partial energy on band-aiding? Where does your energy need to go before your kids are lost, your marriage falls apart, your health fails you, your boss fires you or your business fails?
Let this be your wake up call. You are a limited resource created for impact. Learn this lesson from my car. Take action now. It’s time for you to soar!
Do you have some lingering relationships ... …tear you down….cause grief…..have baggage…..long histories…
……these relationships can and DO zap our energy, steal our joy, drum up false beliefs about ourselves, and sometimes even stand in the way of achieving our dreams.
Yes, addressing relationship stuff can feel overwhelming, but often remedies are simpler than you’d think if you know how to define the right fix. That’s why I’ve designed the Relationship Renovation Roadmap I can’t wait to show you how!
Go to DefeatTheDrama.com/roadmap to check it out!
