Thu, 28 March 2019
Vid Lamonte' Buggs Jr is an Athlete. Scholar. Entrepreneur. Philanthropist. Bestselling Author. Speaker. Poet. Consultant. Volunteer. Coach. A modern-day “Renaissance man,” Vid Buggs is a man of diverse interests who directs his many talents towards bringing people together, encouraging them to look past their differences to unite to make the world a better place. Vid and his companies 4-U-Nique Publishing and VLB/VBJ Enterprises have been featured in several publications including USA Weekly, Huffington Post, and Forbes. Find out more about Vid at www.vidbuggs.com Vid grew up in an area where the life expectancy for males was only 29 years. And, he grew up in the United States, in a place many visit for the beautiful beaches. I was shocked to learn that he was talking about the Virginia Beach area. The area has many port cities where incomes are tied to the US military. There are drug problems, high murder rates, and many low-income families. Vid has beat the odds, but had to power through a childhood filled with people telling him he couldn’t….they thought he wouldn’t run….and yet he went on to play professional basketball. And teachers filled his mind with Don’t Do’s, but never replaced the void with what TO do. How could he dream and set big goals? He took on a Warrior Mindset with a focus on Faith, Determination and Perseverance. He now lives to fulfill his mission of instilling these important life skills into children and adults. As a coach to young athletes he shares basketball skills, but more importantly, tenacity! He also seeks to bring people together and minimize the division we have in our world. He wants to overcome what divides us as we focus on the plenty that we share in common. He shares his important messages through speaking and writing. He also helps other authors get their important messages out for impact. His biggest internal challenge has been his battle with perfectionism and his largest external challenge is being a minority in America. When he walks into a room, stigma follows and he must work 10 times harder as a result. In tough times he remembers those who came before him and worked through their own struggles and he also relies heavily on his faith, turning to the Bible for strength and perseverance. With his focus there he can get up and keep moving to overcome his next challenge. For others who are working to make their impact, he shares that you must continue to take intentional and meaningful action. Start small. Small builds and the ripple will eventually create a wave. Just keep moving!
Direct download: He_Grew_Up_In_A_Tough_Area_Playing_Basketball_and_Now_Lives_to_Serve_An_Interview_with_Vid_Lamonte_Buggs_Jr.m4a
Category:leadership -- posted at: 3:00am EDT |
Mon, 25 March 2019
Do you have some lingering relationships ... …tear you down….cause grief…..have baggage…..long histories… ……these relationships can and DO zap our energy, steal our joy, drum up false beliefs about ourselves, and sometimes even stand in the way of achieving our dreams. Yes, addressing relationship stuff can feel overwhelming, but often remedies are simpler than you’d think if you know how to define the right fix. That’s why I’ve designed the Relationship Renovation Roadmap I can’t wait to show you how! Go to DefeatTheDrama.com/roadmap to check it out! I actually wrote about this life lesson learned from my car a few years back and as I’m revisiting it now had to laugh. My son is currently on his way to get HIS car fixed with a similar issue. He waited until the emergency situation placed on the side of the expressway calling AAA for service. I’d been telling him for weeks he needed to get it looked at. He didn’t listen and look…..neither did I…. Here’s my similar story with the life lessons it taught me…..
Or, maybe it’s your own business. Are you feeling frustrated while you fail to do what you must to really succeed? Do you have some lingering relationships ... …tear you down….cause grief…..have baggage…..long histories… ……these relationships can and DO zap our energy, steal our joy, drum up false beliefs about ourselves, and sometimes even stand in the way of achieving our dreams. Yes, addressing relationship stuff can feel overwhelming, but often remedies are simpler than you’d think if you know how to define the right fix. That’s why I’ve designed the Relationship Renovation Roadmap I can’t wait to show you how! Go to DefeatTheDrama.com/roadmap to check it out!
Direct download: Where_Does_Your_Life_Need_a_TuneUP_Life_lesson_from_my_car.m4a
Category:leadership -- posted at: 3:00am EDT |
Thu, 21 March 2019
![]() Nela Dunato Art & Design Find her book, Human Centered Brand here: https://humancenteredbrand.com/ Nela Dunato is a designer, writer, and educator from Croatia. She’s the author of the book “The Human Centered Brand”, a practical guide that teaches service based business owners and creatives how to create an authentic brand and grow meaningful relationships with their clients. Nela also teaches design as an Adobe course instructor, leads in-person workshops, and writes articles on design, marketing, business, and creativity. She grew up in a small town, felt nerdy, isolated and was bullied, even by some teachers. Then she finally found and connected with her own band of misfits. She quickly learned the importance of finding your peeps. She is now on a mission to help others attract their people through authentic, intentional branding. Words of Wisdom: Don’t get hung up on a big huge vision. Start small, but consistent. Build community. It will happen if you keep going with persistence and patience. |
Mon, 18 March 2019
Still struggling with difficult relationships? Head over to DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap I think it’s pretty safe to assume that, if you are working to make an impact, life is busy! You are almost certainly juggling, coordinating and prioritizing life, relationships, self-care, hiccups, money-making endeavors, impact activities, if the two are not intertwined, and then all of the extra activities that surround any and all of the above. Most of us would probably say, “life is busy, but good!” While you are increasing your bandwidth, however, it is so important to minimize stress. Busy and energized is great but stress takes the energy to a negative place. Overwhelm is never good and stress takes a toll on our impact, our bodies and our lives. I always say, you can live that way for a sprint, but not a marathon!
Are there rules that you live with in your house because you grew up that way? Your mom made you do it so now you have to? Rules about laundry, making the bed, dinners and more…..sit back and start fresh. Can you relax some rules you have for you? I still remember the dinner I made when my boys were little……”Oh mom! You are the BEST cook! You should have your own cooking show!” My fancily cooked cuisine? I’ve been a huge fan of my crock pot for years and Dump Recipes are amazing. Drop the contents in a freezer bag, throw it in the freezer standing up. Pull it out to place it in the crock pot first thing in the morning. Fire up the rice cooker for a side and the meal is ready to go! Remember…..I’ve always done this….does not have to lock you in for a lifetime. How much time are you spending on social media or watching junk tv? Now, I have nothing against either and I’m not saying you must stop it all – but, let’s get real, either can become time suckers. Netflix couldn’t make it any easier to binge watch for hours. And scrolling social media for a few moments can turn into hours without any thought. Take a look at your time with fresh eyes and let nothing be off limits. Keep track for a week or so. If you have an iPhone, check the stats they now provide for how you’re spending time on you phone.
Where can you lower expectations? There are different seasons of life. Did you create some expectations for yourself, your home, your family that made great sense during a calmer time? Making your impact or maneuvering through any busy time of life with some amount of peace requires recalibrating expectations to better fit the time. I still remember when, as a single mom, I had to lower my expectations for our pool. I’d always been proud of how sparkly blue I could keep it. Well, once the full complement of responsibilities fell on me as a single who hadn’t downsized the home it was no longer realistic to keep the pool that way. There are only so many hours in a day and some things had to give - Good enough had to be good enough. Where are you holding tight to unrealistic expectations that are not a fit for your circumstance? Are they causing extra pressure, stress and discouragement? Give yourself relief by adjusting where you must. What can you outsource? Make a list of the activities you don’t like to do or aren’t good at and farm out what you can. And then what CAN you hire out or trade for? There’s an endless list. If you don’t have money to outsource, perhaps you can trade some services. If you do outsource, be intentional with the time you capture. Lawn and landscaping? How will you capture your list? The written or typed lists are essential! If you don’t get it out the list sits in your head. If it sits in your head you have to keep rehearsing it to make sure you aren’t forgetting anything. I know you are laughing right now because you’ve done it or are doing it now! How can you chunk down large projects? Chunking down also helps you focus only on what’s next. This is really helpful! I used to feel the full weight of a project until it was all done. That added way too much stress. In a large project there is going to be an order to tasks. If you’re on step 3 but worrying a feeling the weight of step 20 as if it’s gotta happen now, you’re increasing your stress exponentially. I know from personal experience. I had to learn to chunk it down AND put the later tasks to the side in my mind. Look at what’s in front of me now not what’s coming. What should be prioritized first? Knowing what you need to get done is step one. Step 2 is prioritizing it all to fit into the time you have in a way that gets it done on time. Use your time with intention. When I’m prioritizing I pay attention to my energy. I know that my most creative time is earlier in the day so prioritize tasks that require more focus into earlier time slots. I also consider what’s happening in the world. You won’t see me at a Costco on the weekend. I can go there during slower times so choose to do that instead. I hope these questions will help you capture some productive time. I can’t wait to see the impact you make with the new found time! Still struggling with difficult relationships? Head over to DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap Wishing you a life of joy, balance, passion & purpose! |
Thu, 14 March 2019
Pop Psych 101 Mike hails from Kansas City, Missouri; Kansas City is in Missouri, not Kansas, for the confused reading this. CHIEFS! Mike is working to spread awareness and bust the stigma of mental health issues. He wants to normalize it so that at some point we can speak about it the same way we would talk about a broken leg. He’s been a creative person his entire life and began adding to his portfolio when he was 13 years old. He now works from the speed of pedal-to-the-medal to huge downswings where it’s difficult to get up or do anything. His wife is always there to encourage him and so is his sister, but there are also times when he needs to give in to the disease and tuck away in the quiet. Mike and his podcast co-host, Ryan, a therapist, explore the topic of mental health through movies and shows. They share ideas and reviews in an entertaining way and joke that their show has one therapist, one advocate and 2 perspectives. |
Mon, 11 March 2019
Do you have some lingering relationships ... …tear you down….cause grief…..have baggage…..long histories… ……these relationships can and DO zap our energy, steal our joy, drum up false beliefs about ourselves, and sometimes even stand in the way of achieving our dreams. Yes, addressing relationship stuff can feel overwhelming, but often remedies are simpler than you’d think if you know how to define the right fix. That’s why I’ve designed the Relationship Renovation Roadmap I can’t wait to show you how! Go to: DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap to check it out Your plugging along working and feeling productive with a vision of an on time exit from work when you look up to see the Workplace Whiner standing in your doorway. Or, perhaps you work from home and the constant complainer enters your space via phone. Oh No!! Not now! Not today! The energy-zapping, soul-sucking minutes that can drag into an hour. Time you can never get back. You want to scream, slam the door in their face, or end the call, but you don’t want them to feel bad……or walk around complaining about you! Years ago, when I worked in an office full time we had an employee who walked around for hours every day holding a coffee mug. We called the mug his “decoy”. He’d make it appear as though he was just out on a quick jaunt to refill, but this was obviously not his true mission. Office by office he’d stop in for his chat, sharing tidbits he’d heard along the way. He was also known as the department spy. Whiners and complainers can take many forms. They can be frustrated about co-workers or personal injustices. Whatever the topic, they are breeding drama wherever they go. They aren’t just looking for an ear to get through a tough time. They are built to look for the issue, the challenge, the drama. If a frustration isn’t easy to find, they’ll flip a story to become victim, wronged yet again. Your whiner may be at work, or perhaps provide service at a place you frequent. Are they a friend who calls nightly to share their woes? Many of my clients struggle to avoid whiners. Here are some of the key strategies I share with them. Pick the one that feels right for you and your circumstance.
I don’t condone lying. So, I’m not really suggesting that you say you are on a deadline when you aren’t. I just think it’s safe to assume that, whether at work or moving through life, there is always some kind of priority looming. Just fill in the blank with the actual time frame or leave it out altogether if you prefer to make an instant get away.
No beating around the bush with this one. The more direct approach that will earn you the quickest retreat is to simply state that you have made it your personal goal to remain focused on all things positive. You’ve given up watching the news and will be happy to engage in problem solving activities but are committed to steering clear of complaining or any other negative, low energy inputs. It will be immediately obvious to even the most self-absorbed whiner that you are not the ideal target. Some will put up a bit of a fight, but stand your ground. ‘If you have any positive news to share I am all ears. If not, I need to stop you right there and get back to my work.” The Relationship Renovation Roadmap Go to: DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap to check it out
Direct download: 3_Secrets_to_Stopping_the_Constant_Complainer.m4a
Category:leadership -- posted at: 3:00am EDT |
Thu, 7 March 2019
Wrestling with Fatherhood Matt Woodrum, married, with 3 daughters, is passionate about sending a call out to men to understand the value that they bring to their families. As someone who grew up without a dad and worked within the prison system, Matt has seen firsthand how growing up without a dad can negatively affect our children. Matt is equipping men to become their kid’s biggest hero. To often men minimize their value. Matt found his motivation from his childhood. As a small illustration of the kind of life he had as a toddler, Matt shares that his first words were Scooby Doo. Matt was removed from his home and adopted out when he was 4 years old because he had been abused. The man he called father committed suicide when he was 7. He did not have a good role model after that. He credits his wife who, when they first met, encouraged him, telling him that he had a great future and could design it. She also believed in him and his ability to do well in school when he felt like a failure. As an adult he worked in a prison ministry and learned that 88% of men who were incarcerated did not have good father figures growing up. And, then he worked with women in prison teaching anger management and learned of the heartache so many had felt from treatment from men. He knew that men needed to step up, do better and understand the value they could bring by living to higher standards. Next steps include Mastermind groups for men where they will find a community to lock arms with so they can encourage, uplift one another and hole one another accountable to exceptional standards. Matt often struggles with not feeling good enough or questions how in the world someone with his background could ever be equipped to help men be great fathers and husbands. He has no role model himself. But, his wife is always there with words of encouragement and this keeps him going. Matt knows that with a history like his he could either think poor me and use it as an excuse to do nothing with his life or, he could turn his trials into his testimony. |
Mon, 4 March 2019
Do you have some lingering relationships ....that can be challenging …tear you down….cause grief…..have baggage…..long histories… ……these relationships can and DO zap our energy, steal our joy, drum up false beliefs about ourselves, and sometimes even stand in the way of achieving our dreams. Yes, addressing relationship stuff can feel overwhelming, but often remedies are simpler than you’d think if you know how to define the right fix. That’s why I’ve designed the Relationship Renovation Roadmap I can’t wait to show you how! Go to DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap to check it out! Have you ever heard Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be a Redneck if…..” lists? They are hilarious! Well, I’m going to start with something similar, but you may not find it so funny. I call it the You Might Be a People Pleaser if:
You tell yourself your friends, family members, employees, volunteers should just know what to do. You stuff your feelings or are not even aware of them – Maybe you aren’t even certain what I mean when I ask about your feelings I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had a people pleasing client tell me, I just want everyone to be happy. I’m just really nice. But here’s the reality; People Pleasers don’t just want others to be happy. They NEED others to be happy! And most are actually controlling and manipulating their way to that end. Yep….It’s true! Here’s the thought process: I want to be okay. I need you to be okay so that I can be okay. I will do whatever it takes for you to be okay. Doing anything can mean hiding true feelings, manipulating outcomes behind the scenes, having back hall conversations rather than speaking directly to anyone actually involved, avoiding tough conversations, lying or withholding information. And there are many unintended consequences, beyond the personal build-up of resentments, overwhelm, frustrations, disappointments, chaos that comes with trying to control the lives of everyone around you so that you can feel okay? The lost energy spent to track modified messages, make things happen covertly, stuffing true feelings while plastering a smile. Yes, beyond these personal consequences are these: Unintended Consequences: You Rob Others of their Opportunity to Excel – They have no idea you’d like them to do better or be different. By sulking in silence or complaining only to others you are robbing them of the chance to make a different choice. Do you feel motivated to make the change that you must? Here 5 Steps to Stop Your People Pleasing
Build Momentum: Continue to speak up as you build enthusiasm and feel empowered. Enjoy the feeling and keep going! |