Live and Lead for Impact with Kirsten E. Ross

EP 258 Examine Your Emotions 

Emotions are good.  They give us information.  But, they are different from fact.  If your entire life is dictated by your emotions, you may be all over the road.  An emotional roller coaster is not amusing for you or those around you.  Moods and emotions can shift with more than just our circumstance.  Sometimes we are just eating the wrong foods or lacking sleep.  And without healthy boundaries in your relationships, your emotions can swing along with the people in your life.  

Misaligned frustration taken out on a co-worker, family member or friend can lead to unnecessary conflict that may require you to go into clean up mode.   And the emotion of anger can really wreak havoc.  You probably already know this but anger usually is not the real emotion.  More often you are actually scared, sad, disappointed, or your ego might be bruised

Anger can be a very toxic emotion.  Too often we let it build up.  One hundred tiny offenses left unaddressed to fester can create an atomic bomb size blow up.  And the spew will be aimed at the offending party or an unlucky uninvolved recipient.  It could be the woman working the drive thru window.  

Or, perhaps your habit is to ignite huge anger for even the tiniest infraction.  Small incidents made bigger can have you reacting and angry most of your day.  

Recently, a family business client shared that when he visits one of their locations he makes a point to walk around and say hello to everyone.  “Last Friday”, he continued, “my brother responded with ……an expletive.”

I looked at the brother and in a sarcastic tone he shared, “He walks around all cheerful saying, ‘good morning’ to everyone.  It’s so annoying!”

The story he created in his mind generated an outburst not at all consistent with the mere facts.  

You might read that and laugh but I ask, are there times when you are reacting bigger than you need to?

Anger takes energy and is not fun to be around.  The waitress forgot your drink.  Is that really worth the incensed, eye roll reaction? Maybe you can give her grace and move on with your day.

I ask clients to consider emotions objectively.  Never stuff them but don’t treat them as fact.  If your energy dips and you are having, “one of those days,” know that it is your choice to stay there or not.   Here’s some food for thought to 

  • Is the focus of the feeling misdirected?  Is there a reason beyond my current circumstance that generated this feeling?  Have I been triggered by a past hurt, am I hungry or tired? 
  • Is there an alternative way to think about an incident?  Maybe it’s funny rather than aggravating. 
  • Is that small error worthy of your energy or can you let it go and move on.  I always say, “Don’t let anyone zap your joy!”  Why let a small something put a damper on your day?  You get to choose.
  • Speak up when it’s warranted.  Don’t let a build up of small things that could be handled one at a time to create a volcano.  How many great days are you losing as you collect those annoyances rather than address them?
  • Create a rule.  If I’m not willing to talk about it must not be worthy of my energy to be mad.   The bible reveals a similar sentiment:

Take Action Task

Where are you letting emotions get the best of you?  Do you have anger you need to release?

Direct download: 258.mp3
Category:leadership -- posted at: 1:00am EDT

Stacey M. Gordon is a Veteran Advocate & Military Transition Coach on a mission to assist with transition and reintegration efforts and veteran suicide prevention initiatives. A former classroom teacher, Stacey teaches lessons on how to be confident, overcome your inner critic, identify your values, set goals, time management, and how to identify spark teams (support networks) to increase productivity, efficiency, and effectiveness for individuals and organizations, both military-connected and civilian alike. Named ‘the Mister Rogers of the Veteran Community’ by a Marine Corps veteran and “adopted” by Vets2Industry as a civilian ally and supporter, Stacey is passionate about providing support, friendship, mentorship, social connection, emotional intelligence, and resources and tools to help her clients create a clear vision and holistic strategy for success beyond service in academics, career, business, and life.

Stacy wouldn't be who she is  today without her V2I Family and their love and support during her own "transition and transformation" from classroom teacher to military success coach, and we have only just begun!) Vets2Industry - PEOPLE FIRST, VETERANS AND THEIR FAMILIES ALWAYS. This FREE resource library is for active duty, guard, reserve, veteran, military spouses, dependent children, Blue Star & Gold Star Families, and caregivers. Vets2Industry Foundation Inc. is a registered 501c3 nonprofit organization that provides knowledge, connections, opportunities, and more importantly, HOPE.

Direct download: 257.mp3
Category:leadership -- posted at: 1:00am EDT

255 Nathanael Garrett Novosel

The Meaning of Life

Nathanael Garrett Novosel is a professional researcher and advisor with over 20 years of experience studying individual and group behavior. Nathanael spent much of his career using the insights from this research to help the world’s leading executives solve their most pressing organizational challenges and create their strategic plans. Noticing the common drivers of success in all areas of life, he decided to devote his research, problem-solving, and advisory skills to helping people live the best lives possible.

Relationship Renovation Roadmap

Direct download: 255.mp3
Category:leadership -- posted at: 1:00am EDT

253 Dr. Paul White

Appreciation at Work

Dr. Paul White is a psychologist, speaker, and leadership trainer who “makes work relationships work”.  He has written articles for and been interviewed by Bloomberg’s Business Week, CNN/,, Fast Company, Fortune,, U.S. News and World Report, the Washington Post, and Yahoo! Finance.

As a speaker and trainer, Dr. White has taught around the world, including North America, Europe, South America, Asia, and the Caribbean. His expertise has been requested by Facebook, Microsoft, NASA, L’Oréal, Caterpillar, Starbucks, Boeing, ExxonMobil, Textron, and numerous other multi-national organizations.

Dr. White is the coauthor of the best-selling, The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, which has sold over 500,000 copies (written with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the #1 NY Times bestseller, The 5 Love Languages) and has been translated into 27 languages. Based on their extensive research and expertise, Dr. White and Dr. Chapman have developed practical ways for leaders and employees to communicate authentic appreciation that leads to increased employee engagement, lower staff turnover, more positive work environments, and higher profitability. 

Their Appreciation at Work training resources have been used by numerous corporations, medical facilities, schools, non-profit organizations, and government agencies, over 750 colleges and universities, and in over 60 countries.  Additionally, their online assessment, the Motivating By Appreciation Inventory, has been taken by over 285,000 employees worldwide and is available in  multiple languages.

Cited as a thought-leader in the area of developing healthy workplace relationships, his speaking style has been described as “world-class expertise providing practical, easily-implemented information with the right touch of humor.”

Direct download: 253.mp3
Category:leadership -- posted at: 1:00am EDT

251 Jesson Bradshaw - Serving the Community

Social Media:

Jesson Bradshaw is the CEO of Energy Ogre, an electricity management company that uses proprietary systems to ensure its customers are always getting the best prices on their energy electricity.

Energy Ogre has helped over 100,000 Texans save up to 40% on their electricity bills, over $150M since its founding. 

Jesson hopes to bring attention to Texas’s deregulated electricity industry by discussing topics such as renewable energy, future technologies, and consumer services.


Direct download: 251.mp3
Category:leadership -- posted at: 1:00am EDT