Thu, 31 January 2019
Animals Talk to Her and She Listens – Even Spiders!
An Interview with Victoria Stigliano-Dzuban
Victoria Stigliano-Dzuban is an Animal Spirituality Facilitator, Enlightenment Mentor, and Energy Practitioner. She helps conscious, open-minded animal lovers and guardians learn to better communicate and connect with the animals in their lives so they can create stronger and more mutually beneficial relationships with each other.
According to Victoria, animals communicate in 4 main ways:
I just HAD to ask! What does Victoria do when a spider comes in her home. She said there are rules, but the spider is allowed to co-habitate as long as it is respectful. It is not allowed in rooms where they sleep and cannot build webs all over the place. If a spider is no longer welcome she uses a special vacuum that sucks them up without injuring them so she can place them outside. If it’s too cold outside she might put them in her basement.
The biggest challenges she’s had to overcome is rising about the untrue beliefs she picked up while young. At age 5 she remembers adults telling her that horses did not have feelings. Deep down she knew this wasn’t true, but what do you do with that information when you are young and think adults know better than you?
Overall, she tries not to think too much and focuses on a mindset of “just do it!” She surrounds herself with a network of people who support her and believe in her. Their voices are louder than those who don’t agree with or misunderstand her work.
She says just let passion guide you! It’s there for a reason. Make a plan, create a list and just go to it! Make your impact!
You can find her here: www.creativehealingandwellness.com
Direct download: EP_113_Animals_Talk_to_Her_and_She_Listens__Even_Spiders_An_Interview_with_Victoria_Stigliano-Dzuban.m4a
Category:leadership -- posted at: 3:00am EDT
Mon, 28 January 2019
As I’ve often said, drama zaps energy and steals focus. Holding grudges or living with unresolved frustrations towards others can definitely zap your energy. And you need to harness your focus of energy and time with intention to make your unique impact!
So…….Does forgiveness need to be a part of your work? Bitterness, anger, frustration, and hatred are all energy sucking emotions and are often associated with how we feel about those we believe have disrespected us, hurt us, or taken us for granted.
I’ve definitely had to walk some tough roads of forgiveness. Perhaps I made it harder than it needed to be. But, I definitely felt those negative feelings and more about the man who abused me. I was angry! I had a vision for what my life would be and he took it from me because he was unwilling to own his behavior, or change anything.
I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying, “holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the offender to become ill”. Yes, those resentments will continue to impact you and have an affect on your current and future relationships.
An important part of my healing process was the intentional act of forgiveness. I needed to forgive him for what he did to me. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what he did is okay. It does mean letting go, ending the bitterness and reducing the anger.
Forgiveness certainly didn’t happen overnight for me! As a matter of fact, it didn’t even enter my mind for a very long time. To be perfectly honest, for the first few years after the relationship ended I collected his struggles and failures like little affirmations. “Yep, I made the right choice.” Or, “guess that’s what happens when you are such a horrendous person.”
I wanted validation. The abuse always happened behind closed doors. I wanted his life going forward to act as proof of what had happened to me. And I loved taking note and sharing his continued indiscretions with friends. “Look what I’ve had to put up with!”
A nice secondary effect of my continued anger towards him was that it provided me a layer of protection for my heart. Stopping to think about him as a broken human being who was not capable of doing better was too close to empathy. Empathy lives very close to love and I did not want to feel any feelings that even remotely resembled love for him. That chapter was closed and I needed to protect myself.
Truth was, I really didn’t have anything to worry about there. I had successfully removed myself emotionally from him over the course of those years of healing but I continued to find comfort in the idea of that extra layer.
The act of forgiveness was very difficult. As is always the case, however, forgiveness is a gift I’ve given to myself. It took a lot of energy to hold on to the negative stories, took up time to re-tell them. And empathy is okay. It has softened my heart and I have compassion. He is a broken man. But….The truth is, we are all broken.
Forgiving continues as a daily choice, an ongoing challenge with new experiences to add often but I am getting better.
So does part of your preparation need to include forgiveness? Are you wasting energy to hold onto resentments, frustrations, disappointments, or anger towards anyone?
Maybe it’s yourself you need to forgive. The same concepts apply. Whatever you did that led to the demise of relationships or choices that led to a life moving down an unintended path, it was you in your brokenness leading the way. Question is, what have you learned from those consequences, what will you do differently going forward and will you forgive?
The reality is, you can beat yourself up while you live the consequences of your actions or you can give yourself grace as you embrace your current circumstance. From a place of grace you have more energy to devote to creating a better life and making your unique impact.
So…..we all know we need to forgive, but how do you actually do it?
Here are some steps to follow. The steps are simple but the process can be very challenging. Start today so you can be on your way!
9. Pray: If it’s not your thing that’s totally fine. However, if you are a praying person or want to give prayer a try, praying for God’s help in this area is highly recommended. Pray to have him help you change your heart and see the situation through His eyes. Pray to have discernment and wisdom. Pray for God to guide you through next steps. Pray to express sorrow to Him for your un-forgiveness. Pray to have your offender gain wisdom, insight and healing.
Thu, 24 January 2019
A few highlights from a wonderful interview with AJ Roberts. Take a listen to hear the full story! You won’t want to miss it!
AJ is a 15 year British Army Veteran, a high-performance coach, loving father and husband who helps people daily become the best versions of themselves through fitness, health, nutrition and their mindset.
He also had a great Linkedin Post go viral recently – go check it out! He shared a heartwarming story about a boy he stood up for 8 years ago – The boy was 12 at the time, the son of a single mom and he was being bullied.
AJ stepped in, took him on a cool tour of barracks – got to see tanks - AJ has mentored him ever since. Now an adult, he is entering the military himself.
I am sure that AJ made a huge impact on that man and helped shape the life he lives now – we never know what impact a single action can have!
AJ is motivated to make his impact on the world! He wants to help people overcome the traumas in their lives to be their best. He focuses on work with mindset, fitness and nutrition.
AJ has experienced his own traumas. As a Military Veteran who has been in many battle zones, he has seen things that are embedded in his brain. He has also been through some difficult financial challenges that impacted his family.
In all he has created the mindset that helps him overcome these traumas to succeed.
His goal is to focus on the windshield not the rearview mirror. And, he helps his clients do the same.
His advice to others working to make their own impact in the world; Be yourself! Be authentic and share your struggles. People will relate to you better. There’s no value in pretending to be someone different.
And to all parents he shares, “spend time with your kids!” Don’t come home to sit on the couch and stare at your phone. Be present with your family.
You can find AJ here: www.facebook.com/ajrobertscoaching
Direct download: As_a_British_Army_Veteran_Hes_Experienced_Trauma_and_Overcome_It_An_Interview_with_AJ_Roberts_with_Kirsten_E_Ross.m4a
Category:leadership -- posted at: 3:00am EDT
Mon, 21 January 2019
Many people I’ve worked with have difficulty saying no appropriately.
But, demands on our time, money and other resources can take all that we have if we allow it. Failing to use this important word leads to resentments in our relationships, over-scheduling, overwhelm, over extending, frustration and inattention to our own needs or goals.
Saying no is absolutely a required skill if you want to live and lead for impact!
Here are 3 Keys to Saying No with Ease
If you figure out your why it’s much easier to overcome. It’s almost certainly a false belief or fear of some kind. Give it a name and then make it go away! Here are a few of the main reasons I see again and again. Do you see yourself in any of them?
Ok…..I just had to spend a few extra minutes on that one. Now back to our regularly scheduled topic…..
It is much easier to say no if you are very clear about your own purpose. What main goals are you seeking to achieve? The clarity gives you a framework to use to make informed decisions about your time.
I’m very clear on the 3 main objectives I am working towards as overarching goals for my life. It makes it so much easier to say yes or no to an invitation. Whether it’s a social event or business-related request it’s fairly simple for me to evaluate it to determine whether it’s a yes or a no.
These 3 life objectives help me meet my more specific goals. Mine happen to be intertwined as well. So, I am often working towards all 3 at once, which is great! I recommend that you create a similar list.
Here are mine:
Establish and Maintain Relationships with Goal Oriented/Motivated People
Help Others Succeed
Earn Money And, money along with the design of my work, helps me to achieve some of my more specific goals.
And remember, I shared that these are overarching goals. I do have more specific goals and tasks aligned with them that help me design each day. But, the tasks or commitments of time will almost always be aligned with one or a combination of these 3 objectives.
I encourage my clients to create some ready phrases so that they are prepared with a few more comfortable ways to say no.
Regardless of how you choose to say no, here’s the trick:
Here are a few “No” phrases. Modify them to fit your own priorities and style.
Good luck!! Now go make your unique impact!
Direct download: EP_110_live_and_lead_keys_to_saying_no_with_ease.m4a
Category:leadership -- posted at: 3:00am EDT
Thu, 17 January 2019
Jeremy Roadruck had some struggles early on in life.
But, at age 20 things began to turn around.
He loves to light up others, to take the complex and cumbersome and make it simple, use the polysyllabic words, and help parents and kids find some more playfulness in their own lives.
His mission is to light up the world with game, set and match
A few notes from our interview:
He recommends the Tony Robbins program “Date with Destiny”
He shared about the 3 key false fears that can drive us for life:
Jeremy offers a process that will help eliminate Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt.
5 Keys to Making YOUR Impact:
Visit his website: https://www.theparentingprogram.com/
Click here to schedule a free consultation with Jeremy – Just add that you heard him on the Live and Lead for Impact podcast in the message for your free consultation with him https://www.theparentingprogram.com/contact/
Direct download: National_Kung_Fu_Champion_Turned_Parenting_Pro_with_Jeremy_Roadruck.m4a
Category:leadership -- posted at: 3:00am EDT
Mon, 14 January 2019
Episode 108: Social Media: 4 Keys to Minimizing Regret and Maintaining Sanity
In the last episode, I talked about making things LOOK a certain way rather than having things BE a certain way.
It all began with my trip to a wonderful destination where our condo was designed for an initial great presentation over the practicality of actually living there for a time.
That concept also definitely leaves me thinking about what social media can do around this same concept.
How many people can scroll through their feed to say, “Yes, these posts definitely mirror my actual life!”
My guess is….No One! And, the truth is, they really shouldn’t.
Sure, you can share a bit about a health scare, or perhaps a quick quip about some unfortunate circumstance.
But, social media isn’t really the place to air all of life’s challenges, missteps, snafus.
The problem is that, as we scroll through other’s feeds we can forget that this is just a snapshot, a small, mostly positive sampling of another’s life.
We live in a world filled with happy, smiling faces on FaceBook and can sometimes forget that those images do not represent a person’s whole life. Most share just the best, brightest happiest moments…. Some of those moments can be very fleeting, no longer than it took to capture the smiling faces for a post then back to unhappy, grumbling, fighting and more.
So, to be our best selves we must stop comparing our full lives to the happy, window-in-time moments depicted on social media. Doing that will, of course, leave us feeling like everyone else is living happier more exciting lives.
These comparisons do NOT serve us!
My first recommendation is Avoid Social Media Comparisons
Here are a few more recommendations to avoid regret as you swirl through the virtual world of social media. Used well, social media can add value, but, forget what you’re dealing with and you can add plenty of frustration to your real life.
Avoid Debates: The reality is that, on social media, Ideas and opinions are shared AT people. Sharing here will rarely mirror an actual conversation like you might be able to have in real life. On social media it’s more about showcasing your use of “smart” words, sticking to the far side of a spectrum of opinion and driving an idea home vs. actually seeking to understand another person’s point of view.
Often in the middle of divergent opinions is a thought that makes a lot of sense. But social media debates don’t move people towards compromise. Instead sharing there continues to highlight and stretch our differences. I do believe it is playing a large role in dividing us……We are all quite similar actually, I just think that communicating on social media helps us forget that as we focus on our differences.
Keep Your Digital Commitments: We have become lax with our invitations and time commitments. Where we used to use a mailed invite, many now use a tag on social media, an email or a text to announce a party or event. As a result, invitations all feel looser and less important. People wait to reply while comparing other options, don’t reply at all, or say they’ll come but just skip it if something else comes up or they don’t feel like going when the event rolls around.
Digital commitments don’t carry the same weight as the formal invites we used in the past. It can lead to hurt feelings and a wedge in what might be important relationships. So, my recommendation is…..at LEAST keep your digital commitments. If some of us continue to do this maybe we can help slow the deterioration of commitment to invites.
Don’t Let Social Media Replace Real Interaction: Social media definitely increases your circle of casual acquaintances. However, we sometimes spend less time in actual connection with those we’d normally see or talk to. Social Media interaction doesn’t count! The problem is that we feel like we know about the kid’s concert or the trip to Florida and there is less motivation to meet up or talk to catch up.
Our closer relationships can then diminish down to meet the relationships that we haven’t invested in at all, where most of our up-keep happens online. Now we are missing real connection and getting only the made-for-mass-viewing version of a close one’s life. This is not the same and can lead to feelings of isolation.
Make the extra effort to stay in connection to those most important to you.
So, can social media play a key role in our world today? Sure!
Share an idea, concept or more in-mass
Find others with similar interests
Reach out in support groups for encouragement
Share about public events, new business offerings, etc……
And, it is nice that we can stay a bit engaged in the lives of those we’d otherwise have zero contact with.
Yes, social media has a place in our world Just use with caution and keep the recommendations I’ve shared in mind to minimize your regret and avoid the frustration that social media can ignite.
Thu, 10 January 2019
Living Right or Just Looking Good?
Recently we had the chance to travel to a warm destination. It was awesome!
When we walked into the condo where we’d spend a week, we were amazed! It was beautiful, open, and spacious, with an awesome view!
But then……as we moved through our normal living activities we found that there had been little focus on functionality in the space.
There were only a couple of small drawers in our bedroom and no room for a suitcase, making it impossible to have organized access to our clothes. The bathroom had no place to hang towels or tuck away toiletries. Furniture in the living space looked nice but was not comfortable…….
And the list goes on……
The space was definitely designed for presentation over practicality.
Now….I certainly did not let ANYof this spoil our time away!
But….it got me thinking about a number of clients I’ve worked with and…just people I’ve run across through life, who put that same emphasis on looking good over actually living right.
A life filled with fabrication and dysfunction over real fruit.
Zig Ziglar, a popular motivational speaker, said, “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”
Talking about what you’ll do or, worse, pretending to do what you’ve said is NOT the same as taking real action and never will be.
Don’t let fear stop you from real action.
Zig also said, “With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide.”
And he’s right! Fear can stop you from action but then you may have to live with the new fear of hiding what is true.
Working to make things look a certain way over actually making it so through work is exhausting and a waste of effort! Trying to track words you’ve said without truth, failing to follow through on commitments. Fear, hiding, and guilt that accompany all of these will steal your focus.
Getting others to believe things are different does not make it so! And lies you tell yourself can keep you stuck in what you desire to change.
My clients leave each coaching session with a list of action items they’ve committed to take that will move them towards their desired goals. As we review the list from a previous week I must rely on self-reporting. Did they do what they promised?
Most of the time my clients are honest, but, at times, it quickly becomes clear that they are working to impress me with fabricated success over what they’ve really achieved. And I have to call them out.
The end goal can’t be about impressing me for a moment. I’m not going to judge or push for any agenda that is mine. Faking forward momentum doesn’t affect me.
And fabricated looks don’t last.
So, ask yourself, do you want to create impact for the long haul or just look good for a moment or two?
Living and leading for impact requires integrity…..So, be real with yourself and others.
Make sure your words and commitments match actions. And, where they don’t, clean it up!
Some Simple Little Things to Ponder from What I Shared Today:
What are you really working towards? Do you want things to LOOKa certain way or would you prefer them to BE a certain way?
Integrity is a key foundation to living and leading for impact. End of story.
Fear can sometimes limit integrity. I’ve got a free download to help you bust your fear. You’ll find it on the show notes page for this podcast.
Mon, 7 January 2019
This Situation is Not Right For Me Now:
This Situation is Not Right Because:
I Must Make this One Big Decision or Move Next
I will put these Decisions or Actions on Hold for Now
The problem with fear is that often we focus all of our energy on avoiding it and no time at all on determining exactly what it is we are afraid of or how real the threat.
My fear is (be specific):
Reality Check It. What is the worst-case scenario? What are the chances of this happening – REALLY?!
I suffer these consequences by staying in Limbo Land:
I commit to taking these steps to diminish this fear to live and lead for impact. Start big or small, just get moving!
I have had these successes! Keep track! Success will give you the courage and confidence to take bigger, bolder action.
Thu, 3 January 2019
Maintain Motivation For Maximum Impact
Once you awaken to your desire to make a difference it is tough to quiet the internal push towards action.
What does it mean to make an impact? The dictionary definition is to have an effect; influence, alter. The force exerted by a new idea, technology, concept, ideology.
So, anything that shifts the course of another.
At times it can feel like my impact isn’t enough…I want to be doing more…..helping more….serving more….I know for me, as each new year or birthday rolls around I feel it even more….time’s a-wasting….let’s DO THIS!
However, feeling this desire too much can leave you feeling frustrated or disappointed. And I don’t know about you, but, for me, when I’m feeling discouraged I am not living to create my best impact.
So, how do you keep motivation at a high and discouragement at bay as you work to create your unique difference?
Here are 3 keys to Maintaining Motivation for Maximum Impact:
1. Don’t minimize what you have accomplished. The truth is, we often don’t realize the full impact our words and actions have. When you are feeling low, quickly picture the ripple even a very small pebble can make in a lake. That one small act sends an ever-expanding motion through the water beyond where your eyes can see! The same is happening in your life whether you realize it or not! So, rather than assume you’re moving to slow, picture that ripple!
A few years ago, I got to see how one short conversation I’d had expanded to many. It was really awesome and has been a vision I’ve carried with me since to help me keep going when I needed it.
I was with a group of women and one offered up a thank you to a second woman in the room. She said, “I need to thank you for sharing that morning car routine with me. It has really made a difference for me and my son! I have been so much more intentional each day as I drive him to school! Turning off the radio and picking a topic has helped me capture those few moments for us. We’ve had a great conversation during that 10 minutes every morning since! I ended up sharing the idea with 4 other women that I work with and we’re all using our drive time for cool conversations now.”
The thing is….I was the one who had shared the idea with the women she was thanking! It was sooo exciting to think about my quick little conversation moving across people and impacting other families!
I also get to see my expanding impact quite often when I’m coaching leaders in a business. I’ll start to hear phrases or concepts I’ve shared during coaching sessions from employees I’ve never met. I know that those I’m coaching are sharing with their teams. It’s really rewarding!
Your actions are making a difference beyond what you see! Know that to your core! It will help you maintain the momentum you need.
2. Avoid Comparisons: At times I can hear about Oprah building an orphanage for girls or watch her show as it’s broadcast to millions and start to feel insignificant. And I’ve heard her speak at one of her huge events. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve left feeling deflated. I want to be making an impact like that!! I would love to watch my words and actions travel that far, touch that many lives!
If I continue to compare with that frame of reference, however, I can slow my progress. There is little benefit in comparisons that create jealousy or disappointment. I might not be making Oprah-level change right now but I’m still making an important impact! And…..if I keep moving, you never know what will happen!
And the same goes for you! Keep focusing words and actions on the impact you wish to make. Each step creates an impact!
3. Impact Can Happen in Any Role: Maybe you say you are “JUST” a volunteer, or JUST a mom or dad. Don’t do that! You don’t have to be the executive director of a non-profit, start a ministry or head up a huge company to make an impact in this world!
I look at the impact I’ve made being “just” a mom to my two boys as they struggled through tough health challenges. I’ve watched other warrior moms in support groups for these illnesses do the same! We fight, scratch and claw to get resources for our kids in our schools and as we search to find health practitioners who can help us heal our kids. We research, read, learn and re-design aspects of our lives to work towards wellness.
Yes, as “Just” a mom, I’ve made an impact! Even beyond helping my kids heal, I’ve made an impact by working hard to raise two respectful boys.
Your impact may be in a role you have already or a role you add on. You might make your impact as a business owner or parent but it could also be serving as a volunteer.
We were all put on this earth to make an impact!
Direct download: Episode_Make_Your_Impact_Edited_-_11_23_18_4.55_PM.m4a
Category:leadership -- posted at: 3:00am EDT