Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

I have vivid memories of the nights spent as a young child with good friends and cousins. We would concoct the biggest, most outrageous plans with the pure, innocent intent of making it all happen the next day.

There were plans for a huge circus and parade. We’d create the vision. It was going to be huge and glorious and would take place in the living room. Or how about the magic show we’d have. The neighborhood would join, the audience would be enormous. People would make time to come and we’d have the mad skills required to amaze them all.

The forces of reality didn’t limit our dreams and we lofted off to sleep KNOWING that the visions we’d created would happen. There were no doubts, there were no facts or realities squelching the breadth of our visions.

It didn’t matter that no one knew even one magic trick. We’d learn them quickly in the morning just before the throngs of admirers arrived. And, sure we didn’t have an elephant, lion or tiger to include in the lineup of our circus.   The only animal at our disposal didn’t even know sit or stay. But, we’d figure it all out and put on an amazing show anyway!

As an adult would it serve me to live so out of the realm of reality? No. But, would there be a significant advantage to living a little further along the spectrum of imagination than most adults do? Yes.

As I work with my clients who feel stuck in a rut, unfulfilled and living with the yearning that there must be something more I am amazed at the limits they place on their imaginations.

No I can’t

That wouldn’t be possible.

There’d be too much work to do

I have kids leaving for college soon

I have a mortgage

I don’t have the time

I’m sure it would cost a lot to do that.

I’d be mortified if I tried and it didn’t work out.

What would my family think?

On an on the list goes. Meanwhile they are stopped before they even start. Yes, we need to consider reality. But, not as we brainstorm. What if you are stopping the process prematurely? What would it feel like to imagine from a place where anything seems possible?

What if that big dream could happen? What if you could begin the journey and get at least half way there?  What would your business look like? What could your life be?

Norman Vincent Peale said, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you‘ll land among the stars.”

And how fun would that be?

I think that drama is greater when we feel frustrated and unfulfilled. Why not dream a little dream and create an action plan? You just never know what you can make happen!

Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

If something is not going well in your department or business look at you first and ask, “What did I do to contribute to this situation?”

Some good places to look first:

• Did I set clear and consistent expectations (quantity, quality)?
• Does the team or individual have the necessary knowledge, skills and abilities?
• Am I helping to create an environment that is encouraging and motivating?
• Have I made my employees afraid to take action?
• Is there an effective process in place that is well documented and available?
• Are the necessary resources available (time, equipment, supplies)?
• Is the current goal consistent with organization mission and vision?
• Have I addressed any performance or attitude issues?

As a leader you are empowered to fix what is broken with the team and to improve the outcomes your team is achieving.

Episode 3: Ignite Team Follow Through: http://goo.gl/SNLA08

Episode 13: Simple Process Improvement: http://goo.gl/MDv646

Episode 25: Document for Ease of Mind, Teaching Tools and Freedom: http://goo.gl/iuSjcG

Episode 19: Learn How Leaders Create a Business Culture: http://goo.gl/gLa1RS

Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

The human brain is amazing! It’s a part of us but almost acts as a separate entity at times, especially if we let it. And it sure can keep busy!   Left to wander our brans can create drama! Do you just let your mind meander or are you intentional with your thoughts?

In every moment you have the opportunity to choose what you focus on.

Choose what your brain places on, what I call, your radar screen.

And in every situation you are in you can be focused on the present in a positive way, focused on the present in a negative way or focused on a time that has passed or hasn’t happened yet.

Many of my clients spend lots of time over analyzing experiences they’ve already had, beating themselves up about where they went wrong or didn’t use the perfect words.

While there is, of course, some benefit to learning from your history, you don’t want to spend a lifetime there!

Others I work with spend a lot of time anticipating the future. They try to figure out every different possible outcome for a current situation and create a plan for each. What if this happens? Then I’ll do this. What if that happens? I don’t want that to happen! I think I can avoid that by doing this!

If this happens that would be great! But I think I need to follow this path or get this person to say this for that to even be a possibility. I’d better get on that.

While creating a solid plan for the future is good you don’t want to miss out on your present.

How many times do you complete a routine only to realize you were completely unaware of your actions? You think, “Did I actually wash my hair?” Or, “Wow, I drove here already!”

How often are you consumed with thoughts and in your own world when you could be connecting with the people around you?

Be intentional about your thoughts. Let them serve you.

• If it is learning time, yes, go back over past events to see what you could have done better. But do it from a positive place. Give yourself grace, take note and move on. Beating yourself up about something that has already happened does not serve you.
• Creating an action plan? That’s a great time to focus on the future to create a vision and a path. But place your focus there with excitement, exuberance, and anticipation. Empower yourself by focusing on what is in your control and let what you can not change go.
• Time to be present. Spend time there and focus on the positive, regardless of your circumstance. If things are going well feel gratitude. If you are experiencing a hardship see it as an opportunity. Avoid worry and what if’ing and instead find what is in your control and focus there.I love this quote: “Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It’s just a matter of how you view them.” An Unknown Author Choose the thoughts that serve you in the moment and be present.
• And, please, pay attention in those simple moments:
  • Is there a beautiful sunrise happening during your routine drive to work?
  • Are the leaves turning or flowers blooming?
  • Take time to breath and look around your home with gratitude.
  • Are there people around you who would love to connect with you?
  • Remember to ask your kids how their day was.
  • Greet your significant other when they walk into the room.
  • Take the time to feel the love you have for others and express it.
  • Notice the co-worker passing in the hall and take a moment.

Today, be intentional with your thoughts. Begin to practice this control. No more meandering minds.

Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

Doesn’t it seem like life brings you one little hiccup after another? It is often easy to stay busy fixing one small challenge after another. Our lives or work can get consumed with the little nuisances coming at us. But, we’d still rather have a bunch of small manageable problems, right?

Well…..I’m going to ask you to examine that today. You see, on the surface, little problems seem small and unrelated and one little challenge after another can consume our entire focus.

Often, however, what we’re missing is that there’s actually a bigger issue to tackle. Focusing on one little snafu after another does nothing more than shift your attention away from the solution that could actually alter your entire circumstance.

As a for instance, I have a client I’ve been working with for a while. At the start of each session he would describe the current challenge:

• The team missed this deadline,
• There was a mistake on this project and no one caught it,
• We had planned to have a celebratory lunch together but we had an emergency,
• I didn’t have time to exercise
• I have no clothes that fit right now.

The full focus was on fixing each little issue as it popped up, or at least taking the time to complain about it.

I knew they were all connected but he didn’t……Yet! So, his time was consumed with these seemingly unrelated, but constant small hiccups.

One day, as he described yet another minor frustration, I popped out of my chair and said, “Hold that thought! I’ll be right back!”   I went out into the waiting area and asked the receptionist where they kept decorative vases or containers. She pointed me in the direction of some cabinets in the kitchen and I perused everything they had quickly and to my delight found the perfect visual!

It was a beautiful crystal basket. It had probably originally been delivered filled with a bouquet of flowers.

I brought it back into his office and set it in the center of his conference table.

“What’s this?” he inquired.

“It’s a basket”, I replied, with a smile!

He was puzzled so I went on to explain.

All of the minor frustrations, snafus, challenges that monopolized his focus each week were the cause of a much bigger problem. Looking at them as separate issues was precluding him from working on the real issue.

And there isn’t as much pain involved with a lot of little snafus. There is just a constant low level of frustration. However, pull all of that pain together and you have the motivation to tackle a big issue. It was time for him to muster the strength and tenacity to attack the real issue.

He and his entire team were working without margin. I have never seen a tighter schedule anywhere. They literally have appointments scheduled to the minute. It is one client, my only client, where I KNOW, for a fact that I will finish ON TIME. It doesn’t matter what we are covering at the end of a session. When that clock hits our designated time we are done. On the dot! As a matter of fact, he often gets antsy about 7 minutes before the end. I feel his energy begin to shift to the next task at hand.

Working this tight means that any emergency, any snafu requires hours of finagling with schedules to move things and the ripple affect is felt for weeks or months. I am NOT exaggerating.

One week they lost power for a day and a half. Yes, that is a HUGE inconvenience for any business. But weeks later they were still feeling the pain of that outage. They had no margin to allow for a swift shift of workload or appointments.

So, this beautiful crystal basket was to become the symbol of the bucket in which he must add every little challenge. He needed to start feeling the full brunt and pain of the real issue rather than the small pain of each tiny challenge.

You see, his focus was on all the minor consequences of the bigger issue.

It brings to mind the old saying, “he could not see the forest for the trees.”

For the first few weeks I had to keep reminding him, “Yep, that happened because you have no margin.”

“That must be frustrating. That happens when you have no wiggle room in your schedule.”

“This too is because you are too tightly scheduled.”

I would point out ways that a problem could be so much smaller if they had more time to deal with it.

I pointed out where he would describe a visit with relatives as a drudgery, not because he was reluctant to see them, but because he was overwhelmed by the thought of another drain on his time.

Slowly he began to see. The crystal basket, while not as masculine as the other items in his office, became an important visual to help him begin to see the smaller issues as interconnected. Began to help build the motivation he needed to tackle the larger problem rather than focusing on all of the smaller consequences. A focus on these little things could consume his time but would never transform his situation.

Your larger issue may not be time but I do want to ask you where you might be focusing on the small consequences of poor decisions or a lack of self discipline. Is there a place in your life or work where it is time to shift your focus to a larger issue that is creating the on-going chaos?

• Is your monthly struggle to pay your rent or mortgage the result of a larger spending issue? Are you perhaps shifting too many resources to smoking, gambling or unnecessary shopping?
• Is your inability to find time to grocery shop, take a leisurely walk or soak in a hot bath the result of your people pleasing tendencies?
• Are the struggles you have with your team, significant other, or kids the result of your lack of integrity over all? Do you fail to keep your promises? Or, perhaps the larger issue is your anger.

Start to pay attention to the little struggles and follow the chain back. What causes each? Is there a common theme?

Where is it time for you to focus on the forest rather than the trees?

Package the emotion and frustration and begin to ignite the desire to tackle that bigger issue rather than the ongoing smaller consequences. It is time to truly transform your circumstance!

Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

This episode is releasing on the holiday we celebrate in the United States called Thanksgiving. It is a day to give thanks for all that we have.

In honor of this day I want to encourage you to give thanks everyday. It is powerful to live a life of gratitude.

In every moment you have the opportunity to choose your perspective and there is always something to be grateful for.

When I first got divorced about 10 years ago my two boys were very young, kindergarten and second grade. It was a challenging time for all 3 of us. I began using a gratitude journal each day to help me shift my focus to what I had rather than what I did not. I quickly realized that this was an important exercise for my boys as well and adopted our nightly gratitude talks.

Each night before they went to bed we would all climb into my high queen sized bed to snuggle and take turns sharing about what we were grateful for.

Back then their list often included a video game or a special toy. And there were the nights when my heart would melt as they said, “I’m grateful for my mom.”

It became a super special time of connection and shifting of focus from the worries, fears and challenges of each day to a focus on what made us very, very lucky and blessed!

I loved hearing what they were thankful for and enjoyed that special time. They looked forward to it every night. “Come on mom! We have to have our gratitude talk!” I loved that they loved it!

Our talks almost always ended with giggles and hugs. And it was the start of our inside joke that someone was going to get the boot. I think my youngest went out of his way to kick and wiggle so that I would say it. “Settle down or you’re going to get the boot!” We would all break out in laughter. Years later that phrase is still an inside joke.

My oldest son told me one day, “mom, I want to write a book about our gratitude talks. I want other kids to have gratitude talks with their moms when they’re going through a tough time because it really makes things a lot better!”

Wise words from a second grader. I suggest you follow them!

Today I encourage you to begin the practice of focusing on what you have to be grateful for. Make it a daily practice. Make a list. Get together with your family or some close friends to say it out loud. If you are a praying person thank God for His favor and all of your blessings.

Click To Apply For A Leadership Breakthrough Session With Kirsten

A business owner writes in asking how he can decrease employee turnover. Listen to hear the five tips to solving this problem.

Click to view the shownotes for this episode

Signup for the free webinar at the link below: Surefire Strategies To Get Your Team Motivated Without Losing Your Mind!

http://www.defeatthedrama.com/webinarsignuppage

Submit your Drama Question at the below link...
http://podcast.defeatthedrama.com/defeat-your-drama

If you enjoyed, I would really appreciate a review on iTunes

Your time is a currency. How do you spend it?

Does the business of life take all of your time and attention? 

Your time is a currency and we all have a needs account.  It requires time and attention from ourselves or others to fill our tank.  An empty tank will almost always mean more drama as we find ourselves feeling resentful, overwhelmed, tired, burned out, unappreciated. 

Click to view the shownotes for this episode

Signup for the free webinar at the link below: Surefire Strategies To Get Your Team Motivated Without Losing Your Mind! 

http://www.defeatthedrama.com/webinarsignuppage

Submit your Drama Question at the below link...

http://podcast.defeatthedrama.com/defeat-your-drama

If you enjoyed, I would really appreciate a review on iTunes

What? You haven't heard this term before?

Well, if you were one of my perfectionists or people pleasing leader clients you probably would have heard it.  I’ve used this word for years to describe the act of diving in to fix problems or potential problems or perceived problems – or, to use the excuse that there is evidence of any of these in order to justify jumping in to take over.     

Click to view the shownotes for this episode

Signup for the free webinar at the link below: Surefire Strategies To Get Your Team Motivated Without Losing Your Mind!

http://www.defeatthedrama.com/webinarsignuppage

Submit your Drama Question at the below link...
http://podcast.defeatthedrama.com/defeat-your-drama

If you enjoyed, I would really appreciate a review on iTunes

It’s time to talk about a drama-inducing tactic that many of my clients use or experience in their relationships both personal and professional.  I call it the Hoop! As in, jump through my hoop.  The hoop happens when one individual is testing another individual without their knowledge.

Click to view the shownotes for this episode

Signup for the free webinar at the link below: Surefire Strategies To Get Your Team Motivated Without Losing Your Mind!

http://www.defeatthedrama.com/webinarsignuppage

Submit your Drama Question at the below link...
http://podcast.defeatthedrama.com/defeat-your-drama

If you enjoyed, I would really appreciate a review on iTunes

Fear has a place. Fear tells us to go into protection mode.  Our physical well being is in danger!  

The problem is, the way we live today, that fear telling us to stop – don’t move – danger and the accompanying adrenalin rush are not usually consistent with the threat level. In this episode Kirsten will share five keys to help you move though your fears.

Click to view the shownotes for this episode

Signup for the free webinar at the link below: Surefire Strategies To Get Your Team Motivated Without Losing Your Mind!

http://www.defeatthedrama.com/webinarsignuppage

Submit your Drama Question at the below link...

http://podcast.defeatthedrama.com/defeat-your-drama

If you enjoyed, I would really appreciate a review on iTunes